But we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not just please ourselves.[1] I assume that the weak (ἀδυνάτων, a form of ἀδύνατος) referred back to the one who is weak in the faith (ἀσθενοῦντα [a form of ἀσθενέω] τῇ πίστει). The weak person (ἀσθενῶν, another form of ἀσθενέω) eats only vegetables[2] and has a tendency to judge[3] those who do not do likewise. And I assume this weakness is an infirmity of the flesh, since even the law…was weakened (ἠσθένει, another form of ἀσθενέω) through the flesh.[4] Though Paul considered himself one of we who are strong, after the affliction that happened to [him] in the province of Asia[5] he identified wholeheartedly with the weak (2 Corinthians 11:29, 30 NET):
Who is weak (ἀσθενεῖ, another form of ἀσθενέω), and I am not weak (ἀσθενῶ, another form of ἀσθενέω)? Who is led into sin, and I do not burn with indignation? If I must boast, I will boast about the things that show my weakness (ἀσθενείας, a form of ἀσθένεια).
Let each of us [who are strong] please his neighbor for his good to build him up.[6] I’ve already written how I feel about the strong (δυνατοὶ, a form of δυνατός). But the time I’ve spent knowing the only true God (e.g., Jesus’ Father), and Jesus Christ, whom [He] sent,[7] has made me less faith-weak now than when I began. Perhaps it is time to begin to please (ἀρεσκέτω, a form of ἀρέσκω) [my] neighbor for his good to build him up, or at least to appreciate the scope of such an undertaking.
When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased (ἤρεσεν, another form of ἀρέσκω) Herod and his dinner guests.[8] This pleasure may or may not have been sexual desire. Herodius’ daughter Herodius is portrayed as completely clueless in the Gospel narratives: 1) No king would offer half his kingdom to a woman with any grasp of power. Herod didn’t offer it to his wife Herodias, for instance. 2) The offer seems to have perplexed the girl and sent her to her mother for advice. And, 3) she followed her mother’s grisly advice without argument or any hint of rebellion. She seems to have been mentally incompetent or very young or both.
If Herodias’ daughter Herodias was also Salome mentioned by Josephus (Antiquities 18.5.4) she was possibly as young as 12, little more than 16. If not, she was Salome’s little sister. Still, pleasing my neighbor with some fancy footwork probably doesn’t qualify as for his good to build him up. When a complaint arose on the part of the Greek-speaking Jews against the native Hebraic Jews, because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food,[9] the Apostles proposed a solution that may have been closer to what Paul had in mind (Acts 6:2b-4 NET):
It is not right for us to neglect the word of God to wait on tables. But carefully select from among you, brothers, seven men who are well-attested, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this necessary task. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.
The proposal pleased (ἤρεσεν, another form of ἀρέσκω) the entire group…[10]
Do not give offense to Jews or Greeks or to the church of God, Paul wrote the Corinthians, just as I also try to please (ἀρέσκω) everyone in all things.[11] Here, he equated pleasing everyone in all things to not giving offense to very disparate groups of people. The Greek word translated offense is ἀπρόσκοποι (a form of ἀπρόσκοπος), defined quite beautifully in Thayer’s Greek Lexicon as “having nothing for one to strike against.” I do not seek my own benefit, Paul continued, but the benefit of many, so that they may be saved.[12]
There are some caveats and warnings:
An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how to please (ἀρέσῃ, another form of ἀρέσκω) the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world, how to please (ἀρέσῃ, another form of ἀρέσκω) his wife, and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, to be holy both in body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world, how to please (ἀρέσῃ, another form of ἀρέσκω) her husband.[13]
I assume that Paul thought a divided man might succeed at pleasing his wife, but I have not, not enough that she would stick it out with me. It makes me doubly aware that if any good is to come from me Jesus must please Himself through me by his Holy Spirit rather than rely on me to do it for Him. I will fail; He will not. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, Paul wrote Timothy, so that he may please (ἀρέσῃ, another form of ἀρέσκω) the one who enlisted him as a soldier.[14] Those who are in the flesh cannot please (ἀρέσαι, another form of ἀρέσκω) God.[15]
Am I now trying to gain the approval of people, or of God? Paul asked rhetorically in reference to the Galatians heeding a doctrine other than the grace of God in Jesus Christ. Or am I trying to please (ἀρέσκειν, another form of ἀρέσκω) people? If I were still trying to please (ἤρεσκον, another form of ἀρέσκω) people, I would not be a slave of Christ![16]
Finally then, brothers and sisters, we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received instruction from us about how you must live and please (ἀρέσκειν, another form of ἀρέσκω) God (as you are in fact living) that you do so more and more.[17]
For the appeal we make does not come from error or impurity or with deceit, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we declare it, not to please (ἀρέσκοντες, another form of ἀρέσκω) people but God, who examines our hearts. For we never appeared with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed – God is our witness – nor to seek glory from people, either from you or from others…[18]
For you became imitators, brothers and sisters, of God’s churches in Christ Jesus that are in Judea, because you too suffered the same things from your own countrymen as they in fact did from the Jews, who killed both the Lord Jesus and the prophets and persecuted us severely. They are displeasing (μὴ ἀρεσκόντων, another form of ἀρέσκω) to God and are opposed to all people, because they hinder us from speaking to the Gentiles so that they may be saved.[19]
These are not simple rules I might obey in my own strength or wisdom. “Having nothing for one to strike against” among disparate people to please [my] neighbor for his good to build him up while pleasing God rather than people seems to describe a space, a terrain, where I need to be guided moment by moment by the Holy Spirit, with his love, his joy, his peace, his patience, his kindness, his goodness, his faithfulness, his gentleness and his control. But this introduction to the scope of the terrain has prepared me to hear Romans 15:1-4 (NET):
But we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not just please (ἀρέσκειν, another form of ἀρέσκω) ourselves. Let each of us please (ἀρεσκέτω, a form of ἀρέσκω) his neighbor for his good to build him up. For even Christ did not please (ἤρεσεν, another form of ἀρέσκω) himself, but just as it is written, “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” For everything that was written in former times was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and through encouragement of the scriptures we may have hope.
The Greek words translated for his good are εἰς τὸ ἀγαθὸν (literally, “for this good”), though εἰς might have been translated “into, unto, to” or “towards.” Grapes are not gathered from thorns or figs from thistles, are they? Jesus asked rhetorically. In the same way, every good (ἀγαθὸν, a form of ἀγαθός) tree bears good (καλοὺς, a form of καλός) fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good (ἀγαθὸν, a form of ἀγαθός) tree is not able to bear bad fruit, nor a bad tree to bear good (καλοὺς, a form of καλός) fruit.[20] And, Why do you call me good (ἀγαθόν, a form of ἀγαθός)? No one is good (ἀγαθὸς) except God alone.[21]
The good for my neighbor is not for him to try to do good. Though that may please me (especially if he does that good for or to me) it is hypocrisy, the work of an actor imitating the good. “I’m not good but I play good on TV.” My neighbor’s good is to be good, every good tree bears good fruit, a good tree is not able to bear bad fruit. My neighbor’s good is to be born from above, to be led by the Holy Spirit. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God.[22] And, No one is good except God alone.
The Greek words translated to build him up are πρὸς οἰκοδομήν (a form of οἰκοδομή). I can glean a lot of Paul’s attitude concerning οἰκοδομή and pleasing one’s neighbor for his good from 1 Corinthians 14:1-5 (NET):
Pursue love and be eager for the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy. For the one speaking in a tongue does not speak to people but to God, for no one understands; he is speaking mysteries by the Spirit. But the one who prophesies speaks to people for their strengthening (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή), encouragement, and consolation. The one who speaks in a tongue builds (οἰκοδομεῖ, a form of οἰκοδομέω) himself up, but the one who prophesies builds up (οἰκοδομεῖ, a form of οἰκοδομέω) the church. I wish you all spoke in tongues, but even more that you would prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless he interprets so that the church may be strengthened (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή).
Since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, seek to abound in order to strengthen (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή) the church.[23] When you come together, each one has a song, has a lesson, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all these things be done for the strengthening (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή) of the church.[24] Paul wrote on this theme to believers in Ephesus as well (Ephesians 4:11-16 NIV):
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή) until we all reach unity (ἑνότητα, a form of ἑνότης) in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή) itself up in love, as each part does its work.
You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up (οἰκοδομὴν, a form of οἰκοδομή) of the one in need, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk. Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.[25]
Now may the God of endurance and comfort give you unity (φρονεῖν, a form of φρονέω; literally, “thought” or “thinking”) with one another in accordance with Christ Jesus, so that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Receive one another, then, just as Christ also received you, to God’s glory.[26]
[3] Romans 14:3 κρινέτω (a form of κρίνω); Romans 14:10 κρίνεις (another form of κρίνω)
[8] Mark 6:22a (NET) Also: Matthew 14:6
[11] 1 Corinthians 10:32-33a (NET)
[12] 1 Corinthians 10:33b (NET)
[13] 1 Corinthians 7:32b-34 (NET)
[17] 1 Thessalonians 4:1 (NET) Table
[18] 1 Thessalonians 2:3-6 (NET)
[19] 1 Thessalonians 2:14-16a (NET)
[23] 1 Corinthians 14:12b (NET)