This is the conclusion of my consideration of a pastor’s advice.

Accountability
Find a group of strong Christ-followers who you can be transparent with and who will hold you accountable. Arrogance peaks when we consider our strength to be above the accountability of others.

Walk in grace, walk in obedience.

Seek healing, seek accountability.

Apart from the ordinary peer pressure to conform to the norms of any group, accountability, as a conscious concept, was not part of my religious upbringing.  Yes, I had parents and teachers but my introduction to accountability as any kind of formal religious structure came through my association with “charismania.”  That wasn’t a common term in my church.  I heard it from a friend who married into the church.  But when her husband was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease she encouraged him to attend a charismatic healing service.  (No, he wasn’t healed.)

My primary association with charismatic believers was through a roommate.  The first time we roomed together he was a charismatic alcoholic.  The second time he was a sober charismatic computer student who became a civilian programmer for the military.  His Christian works by any objective measure were sub-par (not that mine weren’t) and I always considered mine superior to his.  Faith was another matter entirely.  His faith in Jesus’ love and personal concern for him was ludicrously insane—and he was never disappointed.  He taught me to trust Jesus by his example.  Perhaps I should say that the Holy Spirit taught me to trust Jesus through my roommate’s example, but my scale is linear and incremental while his was logarithmic.  I hate to blame that on the Holy Spirit.

If asked to characterize my religious upbringing vis-à-vis the Holy Spirit, I would say we didn’t believe in Him.  But that’s nonsense.  We sang the Gloria Patri every Sunday morning, and recited the Apostle’s Creed often enough.  (Of course, it was made very clear that catholic did not mean Catholic but universal.)  So I suppose we believed in the things the Apostle’s Creed said, and that the Holy Spirit came to believers on Pentecost, and worked miracles through the apostles, and made sure that the New Testament was accurate and authoritative, and after that—I draw a blank.

When I began to study the Bible I was surprised how often^[1] the Holy Spirit was mentioned.   And that’s not quite true either.  I thought my task was to distinguish the Holy Spirit from spirit, a hyper-emotional state bordering on the delusional.  But over time that “hyper-emotional state bordering on the delusional” receded and was replaced by Holy Spirit or evil spirits as real beings.  My pastor was very big on Jesus’ work being finished at the cross—He “is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty”—and I added I suppose, that the rest was up to me.

The words of J. Hampton Keathley, III on accountability ring true to me.^[2]  (And his essay is probably more helpful than my floundering.)  He recalled the “raspy voice” of his sergeant at the U.S. Army Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia:

“We are here to save your lives. We’re going to see to it that you overcome all your natural fears. We’re going to show you just how much incredible stress the human mind and body can endure. And when we’re finished with you, you will be the U.S. Army’s best!”

Then, before he dismissed the formation, he announced our first assignment. We’d steeled ourselves for something really tough—like running 10 miles in full battle gear or rappelling down a sheer cliff. Instead, he told us to—find a buddy.

“Find yourself a Ranger buddy,” he growled. “You will stick together. You will never leave each other. You will encourage each other, and, as necessary, you will carry each other.”

So accountability at one extreme means a really good friend like a brother but at the other extreme a formal inquest or inquisition.  I tend to shy away from the police functions of accountability.  But I tell you the truth, Jesus said, it is to your advantage that I am going away.  For if I do not go away, the Advocate (παράκλητος) will not come to you, but if I go, I will send him to you.  And when he comes, he will prove the world wrong concerning sin and righteousness and judgment…^[3]

The religious mind treats the fruit of the Spirit as little more than a measure of its own achievement, and certainly does not consider the Holy Spirit competent to prove the world wrong concerning sin and righteousness and judgment without its aid.  Instead of offering Him a living, breathing example of the peaceable fruit of righteousness we—when we are controlled by the religious mind—become snarky busybodies or self-righteous inquisitors, not unlike Saul before Jesus saved him.

Before considering the biblical concept of accountability I want to acknowledge that I have called this teaching^[4] of Mr. Reid’s pastor confusing directions.  That doesn’t mean I know some secret shortcut from unbelief to faith; well, trust Jesus, but that’s no secret.  Would I even know how to rely on the fruit of the Spirit for righteousness if I hadn’t tried and failed to do righteousness on my own?  That’s an unanswerable question because I did try on my own.   Viewed from this perspective, the pastor’s advice may have been a teaching technique.  After all, y^ehôvâh did not sit Cain down and explain the Gospel to him.  He allowed Cain to fail to subdue sin on his own at the cost of Abel’s life.

I tried first to keep the ten commandments, the commands of Jesus and Paul and the traditions of my church.  When I heard that love fulfills the law, I tried to keep Paul’s definition of love as my new law.  And when I began to suspect that I was going about it all wrong I diligently read the Old Testament to confirm or deny my growing understanding of the New.  Put in a different way, as I began to learn the things I’ve presented in these essays my questions took the form of, “Well, if that is true where has it been hiding for thousands of years!?”  And then I began to try to keep y^ehôvâh’s law in my own strength.

I call the latter an occupational hazard of reading the Old Testament with a willing heart.  When I do word studies I’m very aware of the context.  Context is all I have to understand the meaning of the words.  But simply reading the Old Testament is much more existential, in the moment.  If y^ehôvâh said do this or don’t do that, I said okay, and woke up somewhere in the story of David to the fact that I was striving again to keep the law in my own strength, without malice or forethought.  Still, I never tried to keep any part of y^ehôvâh’s law that included animal sacrifice.  I actually believed that Jesus’ crucifixion superseded all that.

I was intrigued when I stayed the night as a guest of a lovely Christian family.  The children were very excited because they had just celebrated Passover.  I quietly looked (and sniffed) around their beautiful California home.  I detected no evidence that a farm animal had dwelt there for four days.  I couldn’t find any telltale sign that it had been slaughtered and butchered there.  And certainly none of its blood had been smeared on the doorframe.  Perhaps they ate a meal dressed to travel, [their] sandals on [their] feet, and [their] staff in [their] hand.^[5]  But I assumed that most of their celebration was either made up or based on the traditions of those who reject Jesus.  And it never occurred to me to “hold them accountable” to my assumption.

Therefore, each of us will give an account (λόγον, a form of λόγος) of himself to God.^[6]  This is the New Testament concept of accountability.  The writer of the letter to the Hebrews wrote (Hebrews 4:12, 13 NET):

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the point of dividing soul from spirit, and joints from marrow; it is able to judge the desires and thoughts of the heart.  And no creature is hidden from God, but everything is naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must render an account.

In English this sounds like that same moment each of us will give an account of himself: For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to me, and every tongue will give praise to God.”^[7]  The Greek word translated exposed in Hebrews 4:13 is τετραχηλισμένα (a form of τραχηλίζω), to pull back the head to expose the neck to a blade.  It would be a fearful moment indeed, naked on our knees, neck exposed to the killing cut, our fate determined by our words: For by your words (λόγων, another form of λόγος) you will be justified, Jesus said, and by your words (λόγων, another form of λόγος) you will be condemned.^[8]

But I can’t forget John (1 John 4:15-19 NET):

If anyone confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God resides in him and he in God.  And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has in us.  God is love, and the one who resides in love resides in God, and God resides in him [Table].  By this love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because just as Jesus is, so also are we in this world.  There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears punishment has not been perfected in love.  We love because he loved us first.

That everything is naked and exposed to the eyes of God is a beautiful, graphic description of his omniscience, but it says nothing about his attitude.  We get more of that from John.  There is another image of τετραχηλισμένα in the movie Twilight.  When Bella (Kristen Stewart) realizes that her beloved Edward (Robert Pattinson) is a vampire she has a romantic fantasy of being his victim, her neck exposed to his bite.  Later in the film, dancing at her prom with him, Bella tries to make her romantic fantasy real, exposing her neck to Edward, hoping to be made like him.

In Greek Romans 14:12 is: ἄρα [οὖν] ἕκαστος ἡμῶν περὶ ἑαυτοῦ λόγον δώσει.  The phrase translated give an account is λόγον δώσει.  Hebrews 4:12 and 13 in Greek is:

Ζῶν γὰρ ὁ λόγος τοῦ θεοῦ καὶ ἐνεργὴς καὶ τομώτερος ὑπὲρ πᾶσαν μάχαιραν δίστομον καὶ διϊκνούμενος ἄχρι μερισμοῦ ψυχῆς καὶ πνεύματος, ἁρμῶν τε καὶ μυελῶν, καὶ κριτικὸς ἐνθυμήσεων καὶ ἐννοιῶν καρδίας καὶ οὐκ ἔστιν κτίσις ἀφανὴς ἐνώπιον αὐτοῦ, πάντα δὲ γυμνὰ καὶ τετραχηλισμένα τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς αὐτοῦ, πρὸς ὃν ἡμῖν ὁ λόγος

The phrase translated to whom we must render an account is πρὸς ὃν ἡμῖν ὁ λόγος.  In other words in verse 12 ὁ λόγος was translated word and in verse 13, must render an account.  In Greek it leaps off the page that the word of God (ὁ λόγος τοῦ θεοῦ) and our word (ἡμῖν ὁ λόγος) were meant to be the same.  That is lost somewhat in translation, though the passage might have been translated:

For the [account] of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the point of dividing soul from spirit, and joints from marrow; it is able to judge the desires and thoughts of the heart.  And no creature is hidden from God, but everything is naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we account.

I think the passage in Hebrews here refers more to our daily account, coming into the light, walking in the light, than to that final account at the judgment seat of Christ.  (The daily practice of our account to Him, however, probably has everything to do with making the anticipation of that final accounting comfortable.)  I’ll return to the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

The writer of the letter to the Hebrews wrote, εἰς παιδείαν ὑπομένετε^[9] (literally, “unto training endure”) to people to whom it is difficult to explain, since you have become sluggish in hearing.  For though you should in fact be teachers by this time, you need (χρείαν, a form of χρεία) someone to teach you the beginning elements of God’s utterances.  You have gone back to needing (χρείαν, a form of χρεία) milk, not solid food.  For everyone who lives on milk is inexperienced in the message of righteousness, because he is an infant.  But solid food is for the mature, whose perceptions are trained (γεγυμνασμένα, a form of γυμνάζω) by practice (ἕξιν, a form of ἕξις) to discern both good and evil.^[10]

For you need (χρείαν, a form of χρεία) endurance (ὑπομονῆς, a form of ὑπομονή), the writer of Hebrews had written previously, in order to do God’s will and so receive what is promised.^[11]  But the fruit of the Spirit, Paul wrote believers in Galatia, is love, joy, peace, patience (μακροθυμία), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.^[12]  Consider by way of contrast that John wrote his readers, the anointing that you received from him resides in you, and you have no need (χρείαν, a form of χρεία) for anyone to teach you.  But as his anointing teaches you about all things, it is true and is not a lie.  Just as it has taught you, you reside in him.^[13]  This anointing is the baptism in the Holy Spirit that Jesus promised.  The Holy Spirit is the best Ranger buddy anyone could find.

Now all discipline (παιδεία) seems painful at the time, not joyful.  But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained (γεγυμνασμένοις, another form of γυμνάζω) by it.^[14]  The Greek word γυμνάζω means “to exercise naked.”  The writer of Hebrews used it very effectively to refer back to our daily account to God from whom no creature is hidden…but everything is naked (γυμνὰ, a form of γυμνός) and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we…account.  Those who are led by the Spirit expose themselves daily to God that they may be made like Him.  And I predict that the more time we spend willingly, mindfully naked and exposed to the Holy Spirit the more inclined we will be to clothe the naked when we gather together again, and to love one another with the love that covers a multitude of sins.

So for me, it is a minor matter that I am judged by you or by any human court, Paul wrote believers in Corinth.  In fact, I do not even judge myself.  For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not acquitted because of this.  The one who judges me is the Lord.  So then, do not judge anything before the time.  Wait until the Lord comes.  He will bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the motives of hearts.  Then each will receive recognition from God.^[15]